My Baby is Nine Today!

Sarah took this picture of Bailey and I about a week and a half ago, and despite me criticizing myself in the picture, I actually like it. I love the way Bailey is looking at me. I was going through pictures tonight and thought I would use this picture to post to the blog in honor of her birthday.

It is so hard for me to believe that nine years have passed by so quickly. Bailey is really my miracle baby, and I often times reflect on that as each birthday passes by. Todd and I really shouldn't have her in our lives. Twelve years ago, Todd and I started trying for our second child. We had a lot of heartaches along the way. I had an ectopic pregnancy which was a very tough thing to go through. I had a tough time after that just even thinking about getting pregnant again...just fearful I guess that I didn't want to have another heartache. We tried month after month only to keep being disappointed. Todd and I both underwent scores of tests only to find out that I wasn't producing any progestrone, which basically meant I wasn't gonna get pregnant without help from modern medicine. I remember the intense conversations Todd and I had regarding whether we should just let things be and accept we were going to be parents to an only child, Sarah, or go with the fertility drugs. It was a big struggle for us. We decided to try the fertility route only because we really wanted Sarah to have a sibling. I remember the day I got the medicine from my doctor, and him telling me "I know this is silly for me to tell you, but legally I have to.....take a pregnancy test before you take this medicne....it seems like a waste of money for you to buy one, but do it just because I am telling you too." I remember thinking how right he was cuz there was no way I could get pregnant in the condition my body was in. But boy oh boy, did we learn how much bigger God is than us. I took the pregnancy test home and just went through the motions of taking it, and what to my wondering eyes should appear....a plus sign stating I was pregnant....on my own without the use of modern medicine!!! My miracle that I had prayed for was granted to me in an moments notice. Needless to say we were VERY excited and my doctor was speechless. It was so great.

And now here we are 9 years later, with my baby sitting on my lap talking to me. I can't tell you the feelings of emotion that pour over me when I think of the pride I have in both of my children. A mother's love is like no other, and I thank God every day for this miracle he gave to me. Despite the days when I am ready to run away, cry, or just want to bury my head in the sand, motherhood is the biggest reward anyone could ever experience. And this child of mine that is growing so quickly continues to make my heart fuller and fuller. She continues to make me a better person, and she continues to amaze me on a daily basis. She is the sunshine to my day. I couldn't be more blessed.

So to my baby girl......I love you so much .....to the moon and back....alpha null......and I loved you first.....I win!

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!