I love my job!!!!

Okay, I think I have had probably the worst day today than I have had in a long time. Above you will see a picture of my class....for the most part they are all good kids, and funny a lot of the time. There is always a story that I have to tell after a day of work. Normally it is about something funny a kid has said, or how aggravating my coworker is....depends on what my mood for the day is as to whether I even want to talk about her. But anyway the kids are always surprising to say the least. Well today had to be to icing on the cake for stories. I am going to prewarn you that it is a gross story, so if you take offense to bodily functions, don't read anymore.

I was "forcing" my coworker to do circle time today because she doesn't like to do anything extra much less the daily tasks it takes to teach and control 16 three year olds. I was purposely making myself busy to force her to take over when one of the kids tells me he has to go potty. I proceed to take him out to the bathroom and he tells me he has to poop. I say, okay that is fine, and go to get another student who has to also go. I get him situated in the other bathroom and I come back to check on "poop boy", only to find him with his hand behind his back in the toilet. I tell him to move his hand because there are germs etc. I go and check on the other child, help him wash his hands and walk him back to the class. As I pass the first bathroom where poop boy is, his hand is back there again. I tell him once again to move his hand. Get another child to go potty, get him situated, come back to check poop boy again and lo and behold his hand is back there again as he is turning beet red because he is pushing.....need I say more...we go through the routine for a third time. Check back on the other child and he finishes up and I walk him back to the class. I peek in on poop boy again and yes you guessed it, hand is behind him still. I let the other child in the class, turn around and start to really fuss at the child. As I am telling him not to touch his bottom, he pulls his hand around and it is full of poop which he proceeds to wipe across his butt then onto the toilet seat, up onto his clothes and then proceed to head toward his mouth. I yell "don't" all while trying not to puke, and ask him what he was doing. He tells me he couldn't get his poop out so he was "fetching" it from his butt hole. I mean talk about wanting to puke, and laugh at the same time because I am totally astonished that this child has gone digging for gold in his butt and admiting it on top of it. I mean I almost died. The director of the preschool heard me yell, and came down the stairs to see if I/poop boy was okay. I tell her what he has done and she is just as amazed/repulsed as I am. After I got him totally wiped up and the bathroom cleaned up, I tell him we have got to really, really wash our hands, I look at his hands and he has poop under his nails and embedded in his cuticles, which says to me, he was digging deep. I am about to die because I don't want him to touch anything. I am looking all over for a nail brush, which I couldn't find, but you can bet I will be buying at Walmart later to bring to school to keep in my cabinet. I am so aggrevated at this point. We go back into the class, and it is now snack time. The child pulls out a 20oz. bottle of Mountain Dew and an extra large Kit Kat bar for his snack....need I remind you he is 3......the drink alone is enough caffeine to put a rocket to the moon, much less the sugar in it and the candy bar. He tells me it is his healthy snack!!! I am really questioning why this parent even had children? I mean we wonder why the kid is constipated......HELLO???!!!!
So there are two morals to this story....one....then next time you are constipated, skip the fiber supplement, and just go fetch it out of your butt yourself.....and two......parents, please appreciate your child's teachers because if you can't raise them right on your own always know there is a shmuck teacher out there that will teach your child it is not okay to dig their poop out of their butt and that Mt. Dew and Chocolate are not healthy snacks!!!!!

Okay, now that I have shared my lovely day with you, I am going to head to Longhorn for a drink.....because it may not be 5:00 yet, but it is 5:00 somewhere and I am going to partake in a beverage with alcohol.....LOL